Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
