he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She needs sedatives and a leash
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
