Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
