I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
