there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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