And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Can I color on your dick again?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
