I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
