I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
