there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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