3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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