God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
