It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
