so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Everything about him screamed your future.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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