That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
