Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
