dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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