Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
it's not cheating when I paid for it
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize