I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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