Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
