look no pants
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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