I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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