he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
