The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The feeling are messing with the penis
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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