i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
