2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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