true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
