ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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