All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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