Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
