Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
