So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
