am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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