your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize