Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
