I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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