"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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