Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
