goodnight i made you a song goodbye
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
