Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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