So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize