So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize