She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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