cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize