Walk of Shame. In a state park.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
How naked do you want me to be?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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