I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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