i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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