I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
my liver is dry heaving
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
