We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
