He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
