Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I think my moral compass just broke
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
