and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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