Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize