I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Randomize
