i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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