New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
