I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
How does one acquire holy water?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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