I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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