She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
