We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
