I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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