I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
