Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
